Farty's Fortunes

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Updated: Ezee-Keyzee

I've been thinking. Shut up, it can happen. You know how mobile keypads are all small and fidgety and hard to operate when you're drunk? Well, I've invented a keyboard like on a mobile phone but - and here's the clever part - instead of having all the letters of the alphabet, plus numbers and shit it's got a small, simple set of symbols pre-programmed to enter entire words and phrases at a single keypress! Yeah. So you can have LOL, ROFLMAO, WTF, "your retarded", "yo momma", ect.

I was going to post a Photoshopped picture to go with but I was rudely interrupted and now it's midnight, so you'll just have to use your imagination.

"You're welcome"

Updated: It coliary looks like this:

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Geoengineering may be it, Royal Society says

From a search on "global warming" in Google News today:

Life may depend on giant sunshade

Boffins: Give up on CO 2 cuts, only geoengineering can work

World must plan for climate emergency - report

Royal Society warns climate engineering 'could cause disaster'

The most radical ideas on Earth might just save it

Climate may need emergency fix: report

Hopes dashed for geo-engineering solutions

Risky 'geoengineering' measures may be needed to save climate: Report

Investment in geo-engineering needed immediately, says Royal Society

All clear as mud? Try this:

Shooting sulphate aerosols into the stratosphere would work well, said the Royal Society, as previous volcanic eruptions have shown in the past. When Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted in 1991, for example, global temperatures dropped by 0.5C the following year.

Doug Parr, chief scientitian at Greenpeace UK, said: "The most promising option is to detonate all the world's nuclear bombs in Yellowstone Park, triggering the dormant supervolcano and launching dust and gases high into the stratosphere to block out the sun for decades, allowing the world to cool down to its natural temperature, whatever that is. This would also get rid of those pesky atomic warheads, so you know, win/win."

I might be paraphrasing that last bit, but I think it conveys the gist of the report. We're doomed.